One minute you are up, the next minute you are down. I feel like a yo-yo this week.
Focusing on those emotions of anger, guilt, fear, etc. and trying to be the observer and then turning them around into something more productive has been a challenge, as well as providing many “ah-ha” moments. But, I have to say I am drained. I typically make a post by mid-week but I haven’t been able to get the thoughts of this week’s experience down to my fingers in order to type onto the page.
I have fallen a bit behind on the exercises, and I have some old blueprint (BP) habits that have been creeping in. I recognize them, which I think is positive. At least I am not unconscious to their existence and operating on autopilot. It is a matter of ensuring the old BP is not going to get a strong grip and be the driver again.
One saving grace for me this week is Haanel’s lesson 21, paragraph 13. It jumped off the page when I started reading lesson 21 and it keeps highlighting itself as I re-read the lesson. It reads as follows:
“This mental attitude is your personality and is composed of the thoughts you have been creating in your own mind. If you wish a change in conditions; all that is necessary is to change your thought; this will in turn change your mental attitude, which in turn will change your personality. This will in turn change the people, things, and conditions, or the experiences you meet in life.”
I know this to be true. I have been experiencing this in small ways for the past five months. Yet, there is a part of me that is bucking it. And so I am experiencing the yo-yo effect this week. I am not going to pack it in. I just know that I have a more challenging ascent before me. I need to breathe, relax, focus AND most of all reach out for support from this wonderful community of MKMMA members. We are family!